Ode To Adunijeh ( Poetry)

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Ode To My Son, Adunijeh
And when you’d wake up
You’d look for me and smile
And your smile beamed like the sun
So brilliantly shining in my direction
Meant just for me and me alone
You knew I was your mom
I knew you were my son
The bond between was there
Though they trampeled upon it hard
My soul anxiously waited, yearned for those precious moments
My heart exploded simultaneously with pain and joy
Because it wasn’t the recognized, respected, admired, connection, between a mother and HER child, that it was
And because those moments where we both breathed our bond, were like manna from heaven
They punctuated the reality of our relationship and reminded me I was indeed worthy, and you, your eyes, your smile, your face, all of you, the full, perfect, innocent beauty of you

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Enriched me with a new, glorious purpose
You gave depth to my value
And even though we’re not together
And it’s been so long we’ve been apart
Even if I wont ever be with you again
Even if you never loved me again
Even if you hated me
Please know that you are an immeasurable treasure
Irreplaceable
And if those good memories of you, and of our sacred, untainted time together
Is all I’m allowed
Is all I’m left with
You will still be worth it
Because I love you
And that’s never going to change

 

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© J. L. D 2018 Love Letters To Our Children

 

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I am Forever Changed ( Poetry and Picture Quote)

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Heart Torn in Two By M.R.M (Poetry)

Though I didn’t know you, still you grew a part of me, suddenly aware of the child within, wondering Who would you be like and how would you react…
as years gone by colored by the lies you were told, when would that truth I knew as fact unfold?
First it was my body that surrounded you so close, then it was my womb that protected you with every battered dose,
I crawled on hands and knees to try and get away, from the biological co-creator who kicked, slapped and strangled me.
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It wasn’t myself for whom I was concerned, it was the unborn child who may never know just how much hate their mother had to endure.
Did it make me strong, or was I too weak to be bold? The depths of despair of a woman pregnant with new life, only tears of fear that threatened daily that scared wife.
So whatever it is I didn’t tell you, this you must know, It was your life that saved mine with every hit I took, and I’m so very sorry for all the horrors that horrid man I call a crook.
Think what you want but someday you shall see, God gave me you, despite the violent abuse against me.
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Forever my Love goes on and my heart is torn in two, simply because of your resentment for my doing whatever I knew how to do.
Surviving is not thriving, and freedom was a fight, every day I think of you and forgiveness is my plight.
I left that man who bruised every part of who I was, and now I live to shout and fight for what is noble and what is right.
You my dear child I cry for in the middle of each night.
With Love yesterday, today and every tomorrow, Your Mom xoxo
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Dory’s Purple Shells – An Encouraging Message for Protective Mothers

“Finding Dory” (2016, Pixar) is a touching animated movie about a fish named Dory who gets separated from her parents at a young age, and goes on a journey in search of them. Guiding Dory are the memories she has held onto all of her life. Since Dory suffers from “short term remembery loss” she is guided by only glimpses of her past, and along with it, the sense of home, and feeling of belonging.

Years pass. Dory meets new friends, including a quirky fish named Nemo, that become like family. One day, Dory’s memory gets triggered, and she is compelled to find her lost family.When Dory was young, her parents set out a trail of purple shells to teach her how to find her way back home, she follows it.  So Dory sets off on an epic journey to find her parents.

Dory’s parents spent years forming trails for her to follow – up and down valleys, across distances and through the dark currents of the ocean, in the hopes that she would eventually find them.

“Finding Dory” offers a powerful message for Protective Mothers separated from their children that is familiar to those who have experienced this particular kind of pain, grief and loss.  

And for children separated from their mothers, what Dory felt may also be familiar – missing family, fear of rejection and the emotional experience of trying to piece together memories.

The purple shells are what connect Dory to her parents, and trigger the memories that eventually lead her home. The tiny shells are unremarkable in the vastness of the ocean. At times the sandy floor washes over them, and they disappear. But Dory is not alone, with the support of her friends, she finds her way.

What are your purple shells? Each parent and child has something special or shares something that links them together. It could be a physical or emotional reminder. A trinket, photograph, a prayer or special song, a drawing or toy etc

You can also create “purple shells” to honor your parent/child or to preserve special memories. Some ideas: scrap booking, releasing balloons on special occasions, lighting a candle, spiritual celebration, talking with friends/family, writing a letter etc.

Create a Path in the ways you can. Find creative ways to connect to or reach out to your parent/child if possible. Use your shells to bridge the distance. Seek support to help cope with the loss or grief.

Another message in “Finding Dory” is that Dory, and her parents, never gave up hope. The love they have for each other is unconditional. For those mothers/children who are estranged from each other, and have no contact or communication, there is a value in hope. And value in holding onto the love you share. Through love, we maintain our “purple shells”, our connection to our family – and it does not diminish with time or distance.

Also, when Dory was separated from her parents she found other ways to express her energy and love, and was able to channel her loss in a positive direction. You see that especially in her unique optimism, and her loyalty to friends. Though a loss of a parent/child can never be replaced, we can channel the expression of our love, and what that person meant to us, in other areas of our life. Or use that love to make a positive difference in the world. Some ideas: volunteer, be a friend, participate in community groups/activities, do something in memory of your loved one, fight for a cause, raise awareness, join a prayer chain etc

Final message – Never give up!

~ EJ, 2016.

Another Perspective:  

Mother, Carrie Goldman, shares her thoughts after watching “Finding Dory” with her family. Carrie’s teen daughter was profoundly moved by the movie. Carrie shares insights from her perspective of “Finding Dory” and on her daughter’s reaction to it. Finding Dory: Why It Made My Seventh Grader Cry by Carrie Goldman

 

 

I am Forever Changed ( Poetry and Picture Quote)

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” My Daughters-

Can you feel me when I dream of you?

Does your heart feel my heart as it reaches for you,

tugs at you in the night?

Does your soul hear my pain as it howls at the wind?

Missing you, loving you,

Grieving the loss of you in my life,

I am forever changed

You are never forgotten and always loved.”

© D.L 2015 Love Letters To Our Children

 

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Missing You By L.D ( Poetry and Picture Quote)

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” It’s not just me missing you. Everyone here on my side of the mirror remembers you face and your infectious smile. The friends you had are still your friends. Family too is always here loving you, still rooting for you, wishing you well and wishing you back into our lives.”

© L.D 2015 Love Letters To Our Children

 

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The Center Of My Heart By J.S ( Picture Quote)

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The very center of my heart, the most tender part, is where my child lives.

© J.S 2015 Love Letters To Our Children

 

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