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No Parent By J.L.D. (FREE WRITE, ESSAY)

This beautiful piece by a devoted PMA International member and Hero Protective Mom, expresses what we all feel in an eloquent manner. It is a re blog and worth repeating .

 

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No parent who loves their child, who wants to be with their child, who isn’t a threat to their child, who never abused their child, nor intentionally harmed them, should have their child ripped from them senselessly, unjustly, and to be then alienated from their child, in some cases, so severely, as though they have died, and to be left with having to beg for any knowledge or glimpse of their child, hoping and waiting on any scraps that *might* be tossed their way.

I am one mother who is exhausted from trying to cope with the knowledge that there are people so evil who carry out such cruel, evil injustice, and from having to implore the takers, the hostage holders, and their cohorts and other connected persons, of my own child, for something, anything, because something, anything, no matter how minuscule, is better than nothing at all. Facing more often than not, the abject rejection, of denial, so often given, with utter silence.

J. L. D  © 2013 Love Letters To Our Children

 

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Dory’s Purple Shells – An Encouraging Message for Protective Mothers

“Finding Dory” (2016, Pixar) is a touching animated movie about a fish named Dory who gets separated from her parents at a young age, and goes on a journey in search of them. Guiding Dory are the memories she has held onto all of her life. Since Dory suffers from “short term remembery loss” she is guided by only glimpses of her past, and along with it, the sense of home, and feeling of belonging.

Years pass. Dory meets new friends, including a quirky fish named Nemo, that become like family. One day, Dory’s memory gets triggered, and she is compelled to find her lost family.When Dory was young, her parents set out a trail of purple shells to teach her how to find her way back home, she follows it.  So Dory sets off on an epic journey to find her parents.

Dory’s parents spent years forming trails for her to follow – up and down valleys, across distances and through the dark currents of the ocean, in the hopes that she would eventually find them.

“Finding Dory” offers a powerful message for Protective Mothers separated from their children that is familiar to those who have experienced this particular kind of pain, grief and loss.  

And for children separated from their mothers, what Dory felt may also be familiar – missing family, fear of rejection and the emotional experience of trying to piece together memories.

The purple shells are what connect Dory to her parents, and trigger the memories that eventually lead her home. The tiny shells are unremarkable in the vastness of the ocean. At times the sandy floor washes over them, and they disappear. But Dory is not alone, with the support of her friends, she finds her way.

What are your purple shells? Each parent and child has something special or shares something that links them together. It could be a physical or emotional reminder. A trinket, photograph, a prayer or special song, a drawing or toy etc

You can also create “purple shells” to honor your parent/child or to preserve special memories. Some ideas: scrap booking, releasing balloons on special occasions, lighting a candle, spiritual celebration, talking with friends/family, writing a letter etc.

Create a Path in the ways you can. Find creative ways to connect to or reach out to your parent/child if possible. Use your shells to bridge the distance. Seek support to help cope with the loss or grief.

Another message in “Finding Dory” is that Dory, and her parents, never gave up hope. The love they have for each other is unconditional. For those mothers/children who are estranged from each other, and have no contact or communication, there is a value in hope. And value in holding onto the love you share. Through love, we maintain our “purple shells”, our connection to our family – and it does not diminish with time or distance.

Also, when Dory was separated from her parents she found other ways to express her energy and love, and was able to channel her loss in a positive direction. You see that especially in her unique optimism, and her loyalty to friends. Though a loss of a parent/child can never be replaced, we can channel the expression of our love, and what that person meant to us, in other areas of our life. Or use that love to make a positive difference in the world. Some ideas: volunteer, be a friend, participate in community groups/activities, do something in memory of your loved one, fight for a cause, raise awareness, join a prayer chain etc

Final message – Never give up!

~ EJ, 2016.

Another Perspective:  

Mother, Carrie Goldman, shares her thoughts after watching “Finding Dory” with her family. Carrie’s teen daughter was profoundly moved by the movie. Carrie shares insights from her perspective of “Finding Dory” and on her daughter’s reaction to it. Finding Dory: Why It Made My Seventh Grader Cry by Carrie Goldman

 

 

I am Forever Changed ( Poetry and Picture Quote)

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” My Daughters-

Can you feel me when I dream of you?

Does your heart feel my heart as it reaches for you,

tugs at you in the night?

Does your soul hear my pain as it howls at the wind?

Missing you, loving you,

Grieving the loss of you in my life,

I am forever changed

You are never forgotten and always loved.”

© D.L 2015 Love Letters To Our Children

 

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Missing You By L.D ( Poetry and Picture Quote)

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” It’s not just me missing you. Everyone here on my side of the mirror remembers you face and your infectious smile. The friends you had are still your friends. Family too is always here loving you, still rooting for you, wishing you well and wishing you back into our lives.”

© L.D 2015 Love Letters To Our Children

 

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I Love You Mom Forever and Ever by E.J. Perth(Quote and Picture)

momblocks
I Love You Mom
Forever and Ever and Ever.
 
I Love My
Brother and Sister
So Much
I Will Miss Them Forever.”

~ Submitted by E.J. Perth

Quote and Pic from a Child Separated from Brother and Sister 
Due to an Unjust Family Court Order
© 2015 Love Letters To Our Children
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One Step Closer By J.D ( Song )

Created for  my son , though it fits all moms of loss of a child to others against their will, who are longing for reunion, and to show their precious child(ren) they have longed for them, ached for them, waited for them, because they love them.
“One step closer” an original by me, J. D
(based on Christina Peri’s A thousand years and sung to the same melody)
Heart still aches
Memories I can’t erase
I try to be brave
I try to hold on though I’m afraid
I’ll fall
I’m finding it hard to cope
But I have faith, believing our reunion is just
One step closer
[Chorus:]
Someday I hope you will reach out for me
When you do you will see
I have loved you for all these years
And I’ll love you forever more
Time goes fast
Sorrow and loneliness
How to be brave
How to be strong when I’m in all this pain
I’m standing I wont be shamed
All of my strength
Every breath I take brings me…
One step closer
[Chorus:]
Someday I hope you will reach out for me
When you do you will see
I have loved you for all these years
And I’ll love you forever more
And every day I’m alive I will stay true
Fate will lead your heart to me
I have loved you for all these years
And I’ll love you forever more
One step closer
One step closer
[Chorus:]
Someday I hope you will reach out for me
When you do you will see
I have loved you for all these years
And I’ll love you forever more
And every day I’m alive I will stay true
Fate will lead your heart to me
I have loved you for all these years
And I’ll love you forever more

J.D © 2015 Love Letters To Our Children

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I Will Always Love You by K J ( Poetry)

I know my arm is strong
the landscape of it’s breadth has held new life
has cradled the sweetest innocence
and protected a beating heart
I know my arm is strong
the same arm,
clenched tight by an angry fist,
is still strong

My voice is still here
the power of my words to heal and sooth
the joy of song and treasured talk
the chosen silence and the answers
no matter how heavy the hand
to bring down my voice,
my voice is still here

The heart
no words can tell
written, spoken, heard,
how you are my heart
my dearest child
that the deepest well within my being
holds your light and memory
always,
always,
and no man
no woman
no power, being, or force
shall take you from me
shall shake my grasp
of hope
that i will be your mother
that you are my child
and I will always love you.

K.J © 2015 Love Letters To Our Children

 

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Some of the Things By F.C.F (Letter)

Some of the Things Your Real Mommy Loves About You, but Not All

Sunday, August 10, 2014, Day # 801 Without You, May This Message Find You My Little Love… Mommy’s Sunflower,

 

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You used to giggle in your sleep, and that is how Mommy knew you were happy.

Mommy holding you, 6 mos. old, in front of church

1. All of Your Fantastic Smiles– mischievous (as in, “I just hid something so that you can’t find it, but I want you to find it”), sweet and angelic (like when you used to come and hug Mommy and pray with her or cuddle up and read with Mommy), thrilled and excited (while you clap your hands together and put them under your chin and giggle as if awaiting a Christmas present), wry (smirk as in, “Ha-ha, funny, but you didn’t fool me”), competitive (as in, “Mommy, I’m tired and can’t run anymore”…and then you sprint ahead and beat Mommy to the next mile-marker on the track), happy (as if enjoying a Happy Meal or playing troll under the bridge at the park with Mommy), the epiphany smile (as in, “Hey, I figured it out!”), Content, the Reciprocal Smile (smile back at someone smiling at you),….etc.;

2. The Way You Giggled in Your Sleep as a Baby and Then Talked In Your Sleep Just Like Mommy;

3. Your Sweet Little Laugh that I/Mommy could just bottle-up and sell with a pretty bow around it;

4. Your Spirit;

5. Your Comedy;

6. Your Wit and Sense of Humor;

7. Your intelligence, giftedness;

8. Your joie de vie, the joy of life, our happiness;

9. Your Adorable Little Face with the “apples” Mommy could just eat right out of those cute cheeks;

10. How you “stole Mommy’s eyes” and put them in yours;

11. The way you used to say, “Grr, Grr,” as a sign of affection in the morning or at night;

12. How You Used to Love to Snuggle with Mummy and Read at Bedtime;

13. Your endurance jogging and walking in Memorial Park and at Bear Creek Soccer Park with Mommy;

14. Your courage;

15. Your excitement when you got a new toy;

16. Your strength;

 

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17. How Easy You Were to Please and How Easily Amused You Were;

18. How You Never Wanted to Leave Mommy, Just Like Mommy Never Wanted to Leave You for a Second;

19. Holding You as a Little Baby;

20. Your Pictures;

21. Your Sweetness and Light from the Lord; and

22. Your Bear Hugs and Kisses;

23. Your Helpfulness;

24. Your practical common sense;

25. Your well-rounded talents and how you were good at everything you tried;

26. Your Creativity and Imagination;

27. How Good You are at Memory Game;

28. Playing Operation, Hungry, Hungry Hippos, and Bingo and Boggle with You;

29. Taking Care of You When You Were Sick;

 

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30. Shopping for You;

31. How special and unique you are, your Brilliance;

32. Your fascination with nature as a little child;

33. Your Determination;

34. Your Boldness Combined With Your Humility and Unpredictable Caution;

35. The Way You Loved Your Daddy and Mommy; and of course,

36. Watching You Sleep.

But this is just a short list, for Mommy will always love everything about you, and I will always be here for you as long at the Lord lets me. You should remember this every time you see a beautiful, bright, mysterious moon, a pretty sunflower, when you hold a good book, when you go swimming at the pool, go to the park, put a sticker on your hand like Mommy used to do so that you knew she was thinking about you whenever you looked at it at pre-school, whenever you ace a spelling test on Fridays, whenever you see a pretty bird take flight in the sky, know that Mommy is near like a Momma bird is never far from her nest of babies, even when she has to go and forage for food to bring back to them.

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I love you, my little angel! I miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day. Another first day of school is almost here for you–the third one in a-row (all of them) that they have kept you away from your Mommy. My heart breaks thinking about this. I do hope you are happy, my love, but I also hope you never stop thinking about your real Mommy and coming home as soon as possible. You can always come home. “Home is where the heart is.”

Sweetheart, my only “child,” my son, you are a rare gem, a jewel that sparkles like no other will ever sparkle for your Mummy. You are truly one in a million, and cannot and will not be replaced in my heart. Again, I will see you in my dreams, if I am lucky.

Love always,

Your real mummy, unconditionally, no matter what, forever

 

 

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© F.C.F 2015 Love Letters To Our Children

 

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