If I could do it all over again,
I would do things so differently.
I would know that to be a good role model, I first and foremost need to value and respect the woman I am.
I would not teach you to color inside the lines.
I would worry less about money, and more about freedom.
I would live within our means.
I would be more honest with myself so I could be more honest with you.
I would never tell you “shhhhh” in the middle of the day again.
I would recognize the value of my heart so you could know the value of yours.
I would know that I couldn’t meet your needs if I didn’t meet my own.
I would work harder. And smarter.
I would listen to my gut more.
I would listen to you more.
Perhaps, if nothing else, I’ve taught you that you can’t do it over again.
I hope one day you can forgive me for my mistakes — especially the ones that seem so obvious — and know that I’ve always loved you and did the best I knew how.
© I.P 2014 Love Letters To Our Children
I love you more than words can convey. And I can’t begin to tell you how painful, how agonizing it has been to have been kept from expressing love to my child —
to have been prevented from caring for you. And to hear from others of signs you are showing signs of pain & emptiness…
I can’t express how desperately difficult this is, & how terrible it feels not to be able to make anyone protect you, let alone be blocked from reaching out & keeping you safe. It (this issue) is not you; it is this situation we’ve been put in — a situation which began a while back.
I will be where you need me to be. You only have to let me know. I would already be there if I knew it did not create trouble for you. I love you. I am here for you, waiting to know what you need me to do under these painful circumstances.
We are not alone. Other daughters & moms are also going thru this hell. We are praying for each other & for PEACE. But most of all,
I’m praying for you — your safety & wellness & right to love & enjoy your entire family. (These things all go together.There is no peace with DV By Proxy or alienation.
I MISS YOU — your humor, your sweetness, your curiosity, your creativity, your talent with critters… our experiments with crafts/projects gone wrong, our practical jokes…
I’m so sad that so much time has been stolen — not just these past few years, but since you were small, too. And so much peaceful mother-daughter & family time was interfered with.
But I was happy for you because I thought you had all the caring attention I never had. I also thought (& had been encouraged to believe) that I had less value than others in your life, but now I realize that is a lie.
So many things I did & decisions I made were about trying to hold things together for our family under the weight of confusion. Although I regret my mistakes, ignorance, lack of parenting skills in an unfamiliar & unsecure situation, I’ve accepted (with the help of others) that I’m human.
While no one person should be at the center of any one’s life all the time (and no one, daughter, should limit who you love at any time, including — especially including: yourself), I strongly believe in the value I have in your life, or I would not bother in the face of so much painful rejection.
Control and rejection are two major components of alienation
You know I stand for forgiveness, inclusiveness, love, harmony, & peace…, but I stand against intentional cruelty, with a heart ready to forgive that, too.
You have also inspired me to share with others about why someone should consider vegetarian and vegan choices!
Your loved ones need you to be safe & healthy!!
But, I am also enjoying all the little blessings & not-so-little things in life, & I pray for the day you will enjoy them with me & your whole family.
Love always, Momma
big hug, little hug, little kiss, little hug…
© D.T.H 2014 Love Letters To Our Children
I miss u more than I can say.
You loved Arial so much and were so excited to see her.
The judge is keeping me from you princess, and my tears do not stop.
I live to see you again.
Love you to the moon and back,
with butterfly kisses.
© Robin 2013 Love Letters To Our Children
I love you with all my heart. I miss you very much.
I hope you are happy and healthy. Remember your imaginary friend ” bobo’s” tea party?
Remember all the dancing fun with you me and nanny?
Your favorite song “Rolling in the deep” and how we would sing together?
I miss all those times and more.
I dream about when I will hold and kiss you again.
Love you forever. Mommy
© Lilly 2013 Love Letters To Our Children
I feel like I’ve known you for years and years
Even though I wasn’t there to dry all your tears
I cherish the memory of holding you tight
That night in the hospital when I rocked you all night
It’s amazing I’ve found you, I want you to know
Makes me sad that I’ve missed out on watching you grow
I’m so proud of the beautiful girl you’ve become
It’s hard to believe that it’s me you came from
Fifteen years have gone by so quick and so fast
But it seems like forever since I saw you last
I hope one day soon we will meet up again
And something really special between us can begin.
I wrote this for my daughter lost to adoption the day after her birth. I love you, K.
© Amy 2013 Love Letters To Our Children